Now that I’m married…

Tonight my partner Gregory and I got married.  We made a public declaration, affirming our love for each other.  We were dressed in our sartorial best, freshly shorn and groomed like two gay blades.

We had a bucks night the week before and we even had a lovely party afterward, with wonderful catering.  Oh, and there were bomboniere.

I have to be honest with you.  It wasn’t a real wedding, and we didn’t really get married.  But yes, there was a wedding, on TV, in which as reality actors, we pretended to get married.  You see, currently in Australia two men like Gregory and me are not allowed to get married to each other.  That’s gay.

But despite the mean-spirited Howardian legalistic prohibition on us blokes tying the knot, the lovely team at Adam Hills In Gordon St Tonight decided to throw us a big ole gay wedding.  And throw us a wedding they did.  There were photoshoots, interviews, a special bucks and hens night (coz there were some chicks as well as some blokes wanting to tie the knot), the main event, wedding presents and even a cocktail reception afterward.  Oh, and there was live entertainment too, although it seemed more like it had been freshly exhumed.  And all at tax-payer expense.  Thank you tax paying Australia, and especially Jim Wallace and Bill Muehlenberg, coz I know how much you hip dudes would have wanted to help us celebrate our homosexual union.

If you know me you’d know that I’ve been very activisty in raising awareness of the discrimination that a not insignificant section of Australia’s population faces when it comes to equality in relationship recognition.  I’ve protested (peacefully) at the Equal Love rallies.  I helped my partner campaign as a then-candidate for the Secular Party of Australia in the 2010 Federal Election (because the party supported marriage equality).  I manage the Proud to be a Second Class Australian Facebook group, with a moniker aimed to draw attention to being treated as second class by the Federal Government.  I give money to Get Up! to campaign for marriage equality.  I’m even a paid member of Australian Marriage Equality.

I don’t think I could possibly make it any clearer that I am trying to achieve a turnaround in the marriage legislation in Australia, to remove the discriminatory words that, for no good reason, prevents me from marrying my partner.  That said, we are already living in a legally recognised relationship under Victorian state legislation because we entered a civil union on April 21, 2010.  Sadly though this relationship is only valid in Victoria and carries no legal weight anywhere else in the world.  It’s also not the same as being married.  You might ask why?  Well, quite simply, because it’s not a marriage.  It’s a civil union, or a registered relationship, or a domestic partnership, or whatever else you want to call it, but it’s not a marriage.

Do I want to get married?  Good question. Yes, and no.  To be honest I don’t really know.  Parts of me want to get married and then go and say to those who don’t believe in equality “See, two poofs can now get married, so stick your bigotry…”.  More than that I want to be a positive example of a successful same-sex relationship, to help empower those in their closets, and say “Gregory and I are two men, married to each other.  If we can do it, so can you.  Be proud of who you are”.  Other parts of me simply don’t like the old-fashioned, out-dated notion of marriage that binds two people together, until either one dies or they get a divorce.  Camels and goats must be fatted and dripping in gold chokers if you must give a dowry.

I am committed to being in my relationship with Gregory, and irrespective of any piece of paper or legal status, we love each other very much and want to be deeply interconnected in each other’s lives.  I know what we mean to each other.  We’re special in each other’s eyes and hearts and that’s something legislation can’t change.  But it can make us equal in society, and that’s what we both want.  Equality.  Incidentally, some narrow-minded folk believe that two gay men can’t be equal in society, and therefore shouldn’t get married, because we can’t have children, or that even that we’d be depriving the children of a mother, and therefore bad parents, blah blah blah.  With two well-adjusted adult children under his belt Gregory certainly isn’t looking to have any more.  And we are equal in society.

Now, around the middle of February this year Gregory sent me an email asking if I wanted to be in the Adam Hills IGST mass gay wedding.  I pondered the idea and then without consulting Gregory I sent in an application to be part of the wedding.  I thought that if he was tempting fate with asking me to be part of a TV wedding, I’d accept the challenge and commit him, and me, to being part of it. 

We were accepted by the IGST team and told there were going to be a number of events over the coming weeks culminating in the TV wedding.  It was becoming exciting.  A bit like a real wedding.  Photos, what to wear, bring some food, look good, get hair cut (#2 clippers on each other…), vajazzle, you know, the usual stuff.  There was a sense of anticipation.  A bit like a real wedding.

We told our family and friends about this.  They got excited.  Very excited.  Colleagues were talking, even those who were usually a little uneasy with the “gay” thing were getting excited for Gregory and me.  I was even asked by a colleague, who only last year told me he didn’t believe in gay marriage, whether I was going to invite the guys from work to a bucks night.  After a coffee and a chat he even seemed comfortable with the notion that marriage equality might have some merit in treating people on an equal basis.  Yes, equality is about being equal.

Gregory told me many of his colleagues were having kittens because he was getting married.  They really couldn’t contain their excitement for him.  And on Facebook I was getting a variety of well-wishes from people who wanted to know when “it” was and then wished us all sorts of lovely things in anticipation of the big day (or is it the big gay…?).  Things were abuzz.

I really started feeling like I was getting married, for real.  When we got civil unionated in 2010 people were happy for us, but not to the same level as they had become around the IGST wedding event.  It was as if the notion of marriage conveyed a special status, over and above any other sort of life event or relationship recognition.  Funny that.  Because it does.  It’s the ultimate in happy.  And it’s the ultimate in silly too.  Just look at the amount of money people throw at weddings.  It’s big business.

Quite remarkably though, and I think this is about as significant as it gets, Gregory told me that tonight, on his way home, a dear friend of his told him that he had decided that it wasn’t so bad after all if two blokes wanted to get married.  He threw his religious belief coins up in the air and they both landed queen-side up.  And the world didn’t stop, and the sky didn’t fall in.

People have been talking because of the IGST wedding event.  They are talking about how lovely it is to see two guys getting married, and two gals getting married, and they cried and they were happy.  These people and conversations are actually changing attitudes and opening minds.  Oh, and my Facebook account has melted with all the wonderful messages from people who saw us on the TV and loved that we were getting married.  I have never ever had a bigger response to anything on my Facebook page than to our participation in this event.  It’s really quite overwhelming, and humbling.

So we got TV married tonight, in a very happily-ever-after way.  Two handsome princes rode off into the sunset and shared a bit of love around the place, and hopefully they made a difference.

PS.  If you missed the TV coverage of this event, you can catch up on it here.

PPS.  If you want to tell the Australian government why you support marriage equality, you can make a submission here.  It only takes a few minutes.  Be quick as the deadline is April 2, 2012.  You can read other people’s public submissions on the site, to get an idea of what they are saying.  Speak from the heart.  It need only be a few paragraphs.  Thanks.

Madonna crucifies Russia’s anti-gay hate laws

Madonna is pure awesome:

I’m a freedom fighter.
My show
My songs
My work
My art
Is all about freedom of expression
Freedom to choose to speak to act
Always with humanity and compassion
I will come to St. Petersburg to speak up for the gay community, to support the gay community and to give strength and inspiration to anyone who is or feels opressed.
I don’t run away from adversity.
I will speak during my show about this ridiculous atrocity.

I have always loved Madonna, and now I love her even more.

Ban Ki-moon on same-sex relationships and ending discrimination against GLBT people

My Woolworths Easter Drawing

(Download the competition form here and draw your Easter)

I was at @Woolworths tonight and saw their #Easter colouring competition, so I thought I'd give it a go. You like? http://t.co/cQjB1bzt—
Mikey Bear (@mikeybear) March 16, 2012

Adam Hills in Gordon St Tonight – Big Gay Wedding – March 14 2012

Barnett to be married at public expense

[SOURCE]

Photographer, blogger, popular Melbourne gay identity and significant Qmelb contributor, Michael Barnett, is to be featured in a mass gay wedding with his handsome partner. The wedding (and what has been advertised as a stag night / hens night) will be hosted on Australia’s national television network’s by comedian Adam Hills over the next two Wednesday evenings. This will clash with Melbourne’s Queer Film Festival. The wedding will be paid for by Australian taxpayers, a service the ABC has never offered to straight couples. At this stage it is not known whether the ABC or Barnett will be releasing a video of the post wedding celebrations.

Michael Glover
East Melbourne

(The Gordon St Mass Same-Sex TV Wedding Extravaganza is just around the corner! This inaugural event will happen on March 26 and airs Wednesday March 28 at 8:30pm.)

stand4marriage (or Warwick Marsh 4 Peter Madden)

[SOURCE]

I reckon Peter Madden and Warwick Marsh would make great homosexual lovers.  Two wonderful role models of Australian masculinity.  But which one would be the man and which one would be the woman in that relationship?  Coz we all know that every relationship has male and female roles.

I also wonder which one would go top and which one bottom.  Perhaps they’d take turns, one going for it first, then flipping and going the other way.  I bet they’d both get down and dirty, squealing like stuck pigs, and there might even be some santorum being shared, coz I’m sure they’d be lapping up the post-coital love juices.

Well, that’s just my fantasy, a bit like their fantasy, that all homosexual relationships are disgusting and dangerous and that it’s ok to vilify homosexuals.

Oh, and if they don’t like that gays want to marry a same-sex partner, I’m of the opinion that their choice of life partner is pretty sucky too and that they could have done a lot better.

AJN Watch confirmed gone soft

Yesterday I said AJN Watch had the bloggers equivalent of erectile dysfunction.  In a post just up today they’ve confirmed it:

The simple reason that we have stayed away from this semi-annual “gay moan and gripe” festivities is because it has become boring. Boring for us and boring to our readers. Zehu! Nothing else.

I don’t for one minute believe this codswallop.  Their masthead states quite clearly:

We spotlight errors, expose misrepresentations and vigorously advocate our community’s positions.

If they had an ounce of credibility they’d be vigorously advocating their community’s positions, but nope, they’re can’t be bothered.

Soft shmocks.

(P.S.  AJN Watch accuses gays of being “half-naked, sexually-disturbed weirdos” and “pink-frilly underpants-wearers”.  Their religious community is the one rife with the hideous child sex-abuse scandals, police investigations and cover-ups at Yeshivah College.  Not to mention the men walking around the streets in hats made of possums, wearing funny white stockings and curly side-locks, and their women covered up, not unlike the burqa-clad Muslim women, simply because their lecherous men can’t control their sexual urges.  They’re not in a position to be calling gays weirdos, especially with this sort of shmutz and weirdness in their community.)

AJN Watch has gone soft (or “Let’s play hide the kosher elephant”)

I’m really intrigued.  AJN Watch has gone soft.  Once they’d take on the Australian Jewish News with great gusto, and most especially when it was on the issue of homosexuality.  But of late AJN Watch has remained silent on the major coverage that the AJN gave to the two most pressing issues of late, namely the Executive Council of Australian Jewry’s spanking of the out-of-line Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen and the AJN‘s extensive coverage of the taboo topic of homosexuality (in the context of bullying in schools).

Has someone had a word in the ear of the editorial team at AJN Watch and told them it’s not ok to publish gay-hate any more?  I suspect they’d be foaming at the mouth with these recent events, and barely able to contain their collective rage.  I mean, the best they’ve been able to get outraged about lately is kosher cheese and Jon Faine (and of course a reminder about how to bypass the need to subscribe to the AJN).

I can’t say I’m at all disappointed that their vile hate has been silenced, but I’m curious as to what’s transpired behind the scenes.  The silence is deafening.

Cowen, Bartle and incivility.

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen writes to Jarryd Bartle:

Dear Jarryd,
I appreciate your consideration of questions of decency of behaviour. The internet seems to invite, unfortunately, a level of incivility, which would not be there were people talking to each other face to face.
…

Jarryd Bartle writes of Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen in a comment on this blog:

LOL.

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen a former Associate of Monash University’s Australian Centre for Jewish Civilisation (ACJC)

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen's contract as an Associate with the ACJC at Monash Uni ended in 2011. Monash Uni has no comment on his views.—
Monash University (@MonashUni) February 17, 2012

From zero to front page in two weeks

The Jewish community is a funny animal.  Two weeks ago, on February 10, I brought to the attention of senior community leadership news of a story that was going to break that would put a spotlight on the Jewish community.  After some resistance, a statement was issued by the Executive Council of Australian Jewry distancing the Jewish community from the distasteful views of a certain ‘respected’ rabbi.

The following week saw the story get the front-cover on both the Melbourne commuter newspaper mX and gay community newspaper Star Observer.  Sydney’s Gay News Network also comprehensively covered the story as it unfolded.  GLBT community radio JOY 94.9FM and veteran journalist and broadcaster Doug Pollard was also swift on covering and helping to break the story both on air and online.  Even bloggers Mike Stuchbery and Torrents of Scorn took a stance on the issue.  The take-up and interest by these outlets was impressive.

This week’s edition of the Australian Jewish News sees a highly reactive cover-story response to the news that I brought to the attention of the Jewish community two weeks ago.  I am of the firm belief that if I had not responded to a tip-off from Doug Pollard on this story and set into place a chain of events, including bringing the developing stories to the attention of the Jewish News, that the paper would not have given this story the high-profile status that it has received this week.  Kudos to the AJN for the coverage of an important issue nevertheless.

The actual issue at play here is a deeply odious statement by Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen that challenges the ethics of an anti-bullying program that affirms homosexuality.   So offensive is the stance of this academic that both the ECAJ, the Monash University Faculty of Education staff and the Monash University media office have distanced themselves from his views.

Adding an extra dimension to this story, Monash University has been found to have an adjunct/honorary association with Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen, ongoing to 2015.  Monash University have advised that the academic is not an employee of the university and that they believe the association with him is meritorious.

I have petitioned the university to hold Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen to account for his homophobic views, such that he compares homosexuality to incest and bestiality, and put it to the university that they would not be so welcoming of an academic who’s speciality was Holocaust denial.

The issue of homophobia and bullying is firmly on the radar of the Australian Jewish community now.  It will be interesting to see the response from the community to an issue that makes so much of it deeply uncomfortable.  It will also be interesting to see how Monash University handles the uncomfortable situation they find themselves in.

Monash University. Dr David Irving – Holocaust Denier. Incompatible.

[SOURCE]

Monash University has issued the following statement regarding Dr David Irving:

Monash University is home to freedom of expression amongst our diverse staff and student population and encourages expert academic views, however Dr David Irving is not commenting on behalf of the University or the Faculty of Arts and the University does not endorse his comments. Monash University reiterates its respect for the dignity of all human beings, regardless of belief in the Holocaust.

They have further advised that Dr David Irving holds an adjunct/honorary role at the university, which entitles him to an email address and entry in the university’s staff directory.

Dr David Irving has expressed a number of vehemently and distressing racist and anti-semitic views as published on the Australian Supremacist Association web site.  These views were further substantiated by the mX newspaper in an interview they conducted with him.

Monash University begins their vision and long-term strategy with:

Monash is a university of progress and optimism.

and continues with:

The areas of focus outlined by Monash Futures include:

• the ability to attract, recruit and retain the world’s best talent in both the academic and professional staff cohorts
• ensuring we have the reputation to attract the best students – to make Monash their university of first choice

Dr David Irving is a person with virulent, historically incorrect and disproven views on the Holocaust.  If Monash is truly “a university of progress and optimism” then people with antisemitic, racist and nihilistic views toward the Holocaust are antithetical to this vision and have no place in the university’s ranks.

I contend that whilst Monash University continues the adjunct/honorary appointment of Dr Irving and whilst he has any opportunity to engage in any manner in the academic realm, through or on behalf of the university, Monash University are doing the greatest disservice to their students, their reputation, their vision and humanity as a whole.

I ask Monash University to make the continuance of Dr David Irving’s adjunct/honorary role conditional on him refraining from promulgating a nihilistic discourse on the Holocaust in any official and/or public capacity and to obtain from him a written assurance of this understanding.

If Monash University sincerely respects the dignity of all human beings, regardless of “racial purity”, they will ensure people with nihilistic attitudes toward the Holocaust have no voice on their campuses.

I suggest anyone who has a concern about the university’s ongoing association with Dr David Irving contact Professor Ed Byrne, Monash University Vice Chancellor and President directly.

—

If this scenario would outrage you, sign this petition.

Monash University. Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen. Incompatible.

Monash University has issued the following statement regarding Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen:

Monash University is home to freedom of expression amongst our diverse staff and student population and encourages expert academic views, however Dr Shimon Cowen is not commenting on behalf of the University or the Faculty of Arts and the University does not endorse his comments. Monash University reiterates its respect for the dignity of all human beings, regardless of sexual preference.

They have further advised that Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen holds an adjunct/honorary role at the university, which entitles him to an email address and entry in the university’s staff directory.

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen has expressed a number of vehemently and distressing homophobic views as published on the Australian Family Association web site.  These views were further substantiated by the mX newspaper in an interview they conducted with him.

Monash University begins their vision and long-term strategy with:

Monash is a university of progress and optimism.

and continues with:

The areas of focus outlined by Monash Futures include:

• the ability to attract, recruit and retain the world’s best talent in both the academic and professional staff cohorts
• ensuring we have the reputation to attract the best students – to make Monash their university of first choice

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen is a person with virulent, unscientific and outdated views on homosexuality.  If Monash is truly “a university of progress and optimism” then people with negative and destructive views toward homosexuality are antithetical to this vision and have no place in the university’s ranks.

I contend that whilst Monash University continues the adjunct/honorary appointment of Dr Cowen and whilst he has any opportunity to engage in any manner in the academic realm, through or on behalf of the university, Monash University are doing the greatest disservice to their students, their reputation, their vision and humanity as a whole.

I ask Monash University to make the continuance of Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen’s adjunct/honorary role conditional on him refraining from promulgating a negative discourse on homosexuality in any official and/or public capacity and to obtain from him a written assurance of this understanding.

If Monash University sincerely respects the dignity of all human beings, regardless of “sexual preference”, they will ensure people with repugnant attitudes toward homosexuality have no voice on their campuses.

I suggest anyone who has a concern about the university’s ongoing association with Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen contact Professor Ed Byrne, Monash University Vice Chancellor and President directly.

—

If this situation outrages you, sign this petition.

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen – turning harmony into division

[SOURCE]

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen had a goal of bringing harmony to this world:

Rabbi Dr Shimon Cowen received a PhD in social philosophy from Monash University, Melbourne and rabbinic ordination in the Kollel Menachem Lubavitch, Melbourne, of which he was Programme Director, and from the Chief Rabbi of Haifa, Rabbi S.Y. Cohen. He also founded the Institute for Judaism and Civilization in 1998, helping to bring together the two worlds of religious tradition and secular society in discussion and, ultimately, harmony.

He completely missed the mark in achieving harmony.  In fact he’s succeeded in creating more social division and unrest than he probably ever have imagined he was capable of.

In just one week Cowen’s intolerant and bigoted views on homosexuality have led him to be shunned by the leadership of the Australian Jewish community and have caused Monash University, his Alma Mater, to distance themselves from him.

Time to rethink your strategy Rabbi?